Friday, May 3, 2013

Another Final WORD

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The time has come . . . 

. . .  the Walrus said, to speak of other things. . . .
Another season ends, dear friends, 
the WORD’s fat lady sings.

Veteran WORDwatchers know what this means: The rusty van with the chronic muffler problem from St. Mumbles Home for the Terminally Verbose pulled up outside the Dorm in the wee hours this morning to collect the sanitarium’s most recidivist inmate.

There was no worry that the meat wagon’s backfires might alert the target: After a year as the Dorm Mother in a freshman dorm, to say nothing of the strain of herding another gaggle of students toward sentience and literacy, the WORD can sleep through anything.

Few mourned (or noticed, really) as the WORD was tenderly but tightly wrapped in a cozy de-obfuscation Snuggi for the 900-mile trip west to St. Mumbles. An intensive regimen of weight loss, deconjugation and heavy cerebral editorial sanding is planned for the moribund WORDman. After his 17th season of spreading crap far and wide, he’s tired. Indeed, this May marks a significant milestone, as the WORDman relinquishes his administrative role and follows his darling girl into the Next Phase after 19 years at Utah State. It’s been a good run.

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Edward Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

          —Nantucket, Mass., gravestone, 1882 (only very lightly edited)

Enuff, gentle and patient readers. We follow another crop of graduates out the door and close down for the summer. The redwoods, the mighty Toad, the hammock and a promising salmon season beckon, and a lot of foggy walks and yogatime are needed.

As Karl Marx, the famous philosopher-comic, said, “Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.” So don’t take this the Last WORD—Lord knows there are always more!—but just the end of this episode. Look for the WORD’s escape from St. Mumbles in August, once again to afflict—merrily, gaily, happily—an unsuspecting world.

Per tradition, however, we like to end on the same note, invoking wise of city editor Stanley Walker:

“What makes a good newspaperman? The answer is easy. He knows everything. He is aware not only of what goes on in the world today, but his brain is a repository of the accumulated wisdom of the ages. He is not only handsome, but he has the physical strength which enables him to perform great feats of energy. He can go for nights on end without sleep. He dresses well and talks with charm. Men admire him; women adore him; tycoons and statesmen are willing to share their secrets with him. He hates lies and meanness and sham, but he keeps his temper. He is loyal to his paper and to what he looks upon as the profession; whether it is a profession, or merely a craft, he resents attempts to debate it. When he dies, a lot of people are sorry, and some of them remember him for several days.”

—Stanley Walker, newspaperman, The New York Herald-Tribune, 1924

• Editorial Comment: Honey, get me rewrite!

Yesterday’s WORD: Did you miss yesterday’s WORDs from word curmudgeon William Safire, with his useful rules for writers? Click here.

Remembering Alan: ‘Campus literally stopped’ when art prof died, by Katie Swain  
Cache Rendezvous—Aggie TV’s last show of the year, anchored by Jenna Lynn and Victoria Cardon
 
PeezPIX by Ted Pease

Life of Ted










Original PeezPix archival prints, matted at sizes from 5x7" to 16x20" or larger, available for sale: $14 (5x7), $28 (8x12) and up. email ted.pease@gmail.com. Thanks for asking.
 
(Be)Friend Dr. Ted, Professor of Interesting Stuff

JCOM @ Utah State UniversityThe best little professionally oriented journalism program in Utah. Winner of more 2013 Mark of Excellence Awards from the Society of Professional Journalists than any other university journalism program in the Intermountain West.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Words for Final Exam Week, No.

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Simple Rules

  1. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  2. Remember to never split an infinitive.
  3. And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
  4. It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
  5. The passive voice should never be used.
  6. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
  7. Proofread care-fully to see if you words out.
  8. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  9. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  10. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
  11. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  12. De-accession euphemisms.
  13. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  14. Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
  15. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
  16. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  17. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  18. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  19. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
  20. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  21. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  22. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  23. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  24. The adverb always follows the verb.
  25. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.
—William Safire (1929-2009), Nixon speechwriter, Pulitzer winner and ferocious defender of the language, from “Great Rules of Writing,” in his New York Times column, 1979  
(Value-added: Safire talks with Jon Stewart about political language in 2008.)

• Editorial Comment: Find your own voice, but write for your professor.

Yesterday’s WORD: Did you miss yesterday’s WORDs from poet Sylvia Plath on writing, guts and self-doubt? Click here.


Summer Palms







Original PeezPix archival prints, matted at sizes from 5x7" to 16x20" or larger, available for sale: $14 (5x7), $28 (8x12) and up. email ted.pease@gmail.com. Thanks for asking.
 
(Be)Friend Dr. Ted, Professor of Interesting Stuff

JCOM @ Utah State UniversityThe best little professionally oriented journalism program in Utah. Winner of more 2013 Mark of Excellence Awards from the Society of Professional Journalists than any other university journalism program in the Intermountain West.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Words for Final Exam Week, No. 3

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Guts

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.


—Sylvia Plath (1932-1963), tormented writer

• Editorial Comment: It’s Hump Day of Finals Week. You CAN DO IT!



Yesterday’s WORD: Did you miss yesterday’s WORDs from novelist Vladimir Nabokov, on the miracle of the unwritten page? Click here.


White Radishes



Original PeezPix archival prints, matted at sizes from 5x7" to 16x20" or larger, available for sale: $14 (5x7), $28 (8x12) and up. email ted.pease@gmail.com. Thanks for asking.

 
(Be)Friend Dr. Ted, Professor of Interesting Stuff

JCOM @ Utah State UniversityThe best little professionally oriented journalism program in Utah.