Friday, May 22, 2020

Going, Going . . .


This Spring, when it seems that so many good things are coming to an end, it pains us deeply here at the Terran Headquarters for Intergalactic and WORD Peace to confirm that those guys in white coats and N95 masks have taken Mr. WORD away again.

The completely bogus court order that “Nick,” the largest knuckle-dragger, waved in our faces while his mouth-breathing goons threw the WORD’s beloved Thesarus collection and a half-completed Scrabble game out the window, says the WORD is infectious.

“What!?” WORD declaimed, waving his own official-looking document. “I just got tested and I’m COVID-free.”

It turns out that the WORD’s contagion is not viral, but language- and idea-based, and no one can deny now, at the end of the WORD’s 25th year, that it’s difficult stuff to resist.

Over those years, the WORD has staked out claim to both high ground and low, all in the interests of exploring the role of free press and free expression in an informed and engaged participatory democracy. 

Back in 1995, when the WORD burst onto the intergalactic stage — well, in that first journalism class back at Utah State — the daily wisdom was designed to help students become proficient at email (can you imagine?!), and to provide some context for the role of journalism in society.

What passed for “wisdom” in those early days is lost in the haze of, well, haze, because the WORD didn’t go online until late 2007. The first WORD that is preserved in our archives is from Nov. 30, 2007, and threatens hapless journalism students in its first online breath:

“The WORD has once again shimmied down the drainpipe at St. Mumbles Home for the Terminally Verbose and reemerges today to launch another horrific reign of punditry and verbiage,” it said. “(If you are one of my students — and if you are, everyone pities you — your assignment for tomorrow is to define and use in a sentence of 25 words or fewer both of those words.)”

As longtime WORDsters know, it’s been all downhill since then. So rather than belabor that sorry history, let’s focus on the here and now.

Specifically, the WORD is not here anymore now. While the staff was examining his documents (which turn out to be a lease agreement for a condo-share in Wichita), Nick and his thugs hustled the WORD into the truck and took him off to self-isolate back at St. Mumbles. 

Typically, these quarantines have been salubrious to the WORD’s health (look that one up, too, kids). Staff are permitted to visit St. Mumbles, but we understand it’s got a lot of old professors and tired editors and other old farts in hammocks and whatnot, conjugating and paraphrasing and making stuff up.

During these dark days of COVID, we feel that the WORD has been a small but rare bright spot in the day. Well, some days it’s not awful. So we’re sorry the WORD is gone, but we’re pretty sure he’ll be back. Hope we're all still here then.

Be well, be safe and remember to wash your damn hands!


 
PeezPIX by Ted Pease

 Off Into the Sunset

















Check out the May issue of Senior News: “Humboldt Holds Its Breath.” Free everywhere.
  
This Classic WORD is repurposed from March 2015. Those were the days.
FREE! Get TODAY'S WORD ON JOURNALISM in your email This free “service” is sent to 2,000,000 or so subscribers around the planet more or less every weekday morning during WORD season. If you have recovered from whatever illness led you to subscribe and don’t want it anymore, send “unsubscribe” to ted.pease@gmail.com. Or if you want to afflict someone else, send me the email address and watch the fun begin. (Disclaimer: I just quote ’em, I don’t necessarily endorse ’em. Don’t shoot the messenger.) 
 
Ted Pease, Professor of Interesting Stuff, Trinidad, California. (Be)Friend The WORD

“I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones, in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.” —Tom Stoppard


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