Monday, April 23, 2012

RIP Facts

Death of Facts, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012
“A quick review of the long and illustrious career of Facts reveals some of the world’s most cherished absolutes: Gravity makes things fall down; 2 + 2 = 4; the sky is blue.

“But for many, Facts’ most memorable moments came in simple day-to-day realities, from a child’s certainty of its mother’s love to the comforting knowledge that a favorite television show would start promptly at 8 p.m.

“Over the centuries, Facts became such a prevalent part of most people's lives that Irish philosopher Edmund Burke once said: ‘Facts are to the mind what food is to the body.’

“To the shock of most sentient beings, Facts died Wednesday, April 18, after a long battle for relevancy with the 24-hour news cycle, blogs and the Internet. Though few expected Facts to pull out of its years-long downward spiral, the official cause of death was from injuries suffered last week when Florida Republican Rep. Allen West steadfastly declared that as many as 81 of his fellow members of the U.S. House of Representatives are communists.

“Facts held on for several days after that assault—brought on without a scrap of evidence or reason—before expiring peacefully at its home in a high school physics book. Facts was 2,372.”
—Rex W. Huppke, reporter and columnist,  
April 19, 2012

• Editorial Comment: Facts was preceded in death by Truth. Send flowers to Hope.

Enough Books, Already! Did you miss yesterday’s WORDs from Albert Einstein, who said reading too many books makes your brain lazy? Click here.

News from our award-winning student news site, The Hard News Café  

HNC Weekly News Roundup 
JCOM honors Class of 2012, outstanding students; awards scholarships 
Decision nears on proposed Oneida Narrows dam, but fight not over yet, by Allie Jeppson 
USU honors its athletes, teams of the year at USTARS dinner, by Rebecca Holliday
Cancer foes generate hope doing laps all night for Relay For Life, by Rebecca Holliday
Mendon historian loves to discover and share the past, by Josh Ruggles
New names in Nibley: City manager Zook and municipal judge Cook, by Tmera Bradley
Hyrum city promises help for home owners in Wapiti Bluff subdivision, by Tara Alvey
Wellsville turns down request for commercial rezone, by Jimena Herrero
Aggie TV News for April 19, 2012 
USU journalists dominate annual regional Mark of Excellence Awards 
JCOM Prof, SLTrib Photographer Win Journalism Ethics Award 
GUEST COLUMN: Obama leads the way in kindness, civility, by Helen Cannon

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U.S. Coast Guard rescue boat Humboldt Bay

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