Thursday, April 7, 2011


Glenn Revere

“When I took this job I didn’t take it because it was going to be a career for me. Paul Revere did not get up on the horse and say, ‘I’m going to do this for the rest of my life.’ He didn’t do it. He got off the horse at some point and fought in the Revolution, and then he went back to silversmithing. . . . I will continue to tell the story. I’m going to be showing you other ways for us to connect. But I have other things to do.”
—Glenn Beck, TV personality, explaining why he’s leaving Fox later this year. A reported 400 advertisers have boycotted his program.
Glenn Beck explains why he's leaving Fox, compares himself to Paul Revere,”
The New York Daily News, April 7, 2011.

Editorial Comment: Glenn’s next gig? Mucking out Paul Revere’s stable.

The Washington Post
• “Half of the headlines say he’s been canceled,” Fox News boss Roger Ailes told the Associated Press. “The other half say he quit. We’re pretty happy with both of them.”
The New York Times

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  1. The moron is coming, the moron is coming!

  2. I live in Revere, Massachusetts, sir. I weekly walk the ground (near the present-day Boston waterfront) where the Boston Tea Party took place, sir. I have visited his grave and his Colonial-era home (which still stands thanks to public funds), sir. My 92-year-old mother lives near the site of Paul Revere's post-war copper and brass foundry in Canton. Glenn Beck is not Paul Revere, and not fit to muck Paul Revere's horses' shit. Nor could any horse carry Glenn Beck's weight all the way from Charlestown to Concord, sir, even at a walk.

    ... And if Fox News reported that there were two lanterns hung in Old North Church, signifying that the Redcoats were coming by sea, I'd ask for a second source. Glenn Beck would interpret the two lanterns as one lantern suffering from left-wing excess and claim the Redcoats were coming by land.... and the Revolution would have ended with the capture of John Hancock and the arms cache at Lexington.


  3. Re: Beck mucking out Paul Revere’s stable. Have you cleared that with the horse? If, in the words of the immortal Mike Royko, “no self-respecting fish would be caught wrapped in a Rupert Murdoch publication,” then I think it’s safe to say that no self-respecting horse would be caught crapping on a stable floor mucked by the tender mercies of Glenn Beck. It would be a social descent for the horse, and most likely too intellectually taxing for the Glennster.

    Cheers from Kentucky,


  4. Dan's right--I didn't think that through. The PETA people were just here pouring fake horse blood on me.