Tuesday, May 3, 2011

There’s Something Happening Here . . .

We Can’t Speculate, But . . .

“Last night, America got the news that U.S. forces raided a compound in Pakistan, took fire, and punched Osama bin Laden's ticket on the downtown train to the Nethers. But before we got that news, America got about a solid hour of ramping and vamping, as newspeople took to the teevee to make wild speculation about what it was that they were all summoned back to work to report.

“It made for an interesting night, to say the least. What was the big story? Was it the debt ceiling, or about tornadoes? No, it was about a ‘national security matter.’ Or maybe ‘war’ or ‘death’ or ‘terror.’ Was it maybe something in Syria? We’re going to war with Syria! Or is it Muammar Gaddafi? Is he dead? Was he killed? OH CRAP, THIS IS THE WHOLE 2012 PROPHECY, RIGHT? (What do you wear on a ‘survival ark?’ Surely not culottes.)

“Credit Geraldo Rivera, briefly, for being the first one on teevee to at least say the words ‘We got him,’ though it was pretty clear that the ‘him’ he thought was ‘got’ was Gaddafi. Over at CNN, Wolf Blitzer kept saying that he totally knew that the big news had nothing to do with Libya, because he is a precious news pony and his precious news pony sources told him it wasn’t about Libya, so those other networks should be quiet. . . .

“Good job, though, professional newsmen! Entertaining stuff.”

—Ben Craw, HuffPost “Eat the Press” blogger,
“Something Is Happening On A Sunday, So Let's Vamp: The Mediagasm,” May 2, 2011.

Editorial Comment: Wolf, Geraldo and the rest wet their pants. Film @ 11.

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